Deliver Me – by Lyra_Aphrodite_Moon

Link: http://hp.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=19056&chapter=1

Rating: Poor

The Basics: Phoenix Era, Romance, 100k

Warnings: Underage, Sexual Content

Hermione Granger, overworking herself with studying, takes on a 7th year potions project with Professor Snape.

I was very excited to read this fic, as I am in love with the ‘7th year potions project’ trope (probably because it is the most obvious early trope that everyone used back in the day, and I’m sentimental about it.)

Unfortunately, I could tell right away that it was going to be a bumpy ride.  The writing is very low quality in the beginning, although it does improve.  Then, the romance is rushed – uncomfortably rushed, especially for an underage fic.  When underage fics are rushed, it makes Snape seem like Creeper!Snape or Pedo!Snape and that’s uncomfortable.  Maybe it’s just because I’m getting older, but it seemed to me that both Hermione and Snape were incredibly irresponsible, to such a degree that it took them both out-of-character for me.

However, that’s not the biggest problem I have with this fic.  The biggest problem is that nobody seems capable of having a genuine conversation with anyone else.  It all seems to be screaming, and fits, and barbs, and tragic misunderstandings.  Just over and over and over again.  I felt like I just continually kept reading the same thing over again – someone gets mad at leaves, someone gets mad and grabs someone, they yell and try to hurt each other, blah blah blah.  That kind of unrelentingly Gryffindor behavior is just not what I expect to read in an SSHG fic – what they have in common is their introverted side, their academic side.  Screaming at each other is just tiresome.  It felt like the adventures of Lavender and Seamus or something; two dunderheads who can only communicate with temper tantrums.

The plotline was pretty weak and seemed to change over time.  It was clearly not plotted out from the beginning.  Then at the end, lots of new characters are introduced and thrown together, and then the whole thing kind of sags outwardly in a quick wrap-up chapter.  The writer even says in her author’s notes that she threw together an ending for the fic 5 years later when people kept asking for an ending.  And it definitely smarts of that tacked-on effect.

The bottom line: Overall, there’s almost nothing worth reading here, honestly.  It smacked of classic-era goodness in the beginning, but gets tiresome because of the childish tantrums continually thrown by ALL of the characters and the lack of a coherent plotline or sense of responsibility.  The writing is decent, but that’s not enough to save it.

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6 thoughts on “Deliver Me – by Lyra_Aphrodite_Moon

  1. I’ve just found your blog, and I’ve already read every entry in a frenzy worthy of my HGSS fanfiction phases. This is the project I was too lazy to pick up, and you sound exactly like me. Did I mention I enjoyed it all?

    Are you still following your original list of qualofying fics? I hope it includes some of my all time favourites by Aurette, Caeria et al. Thanks to you, I’m hoping for my lost to grow even more. Cheers!

    • Yes, I’m still following my original list! I’m at Half-Blood Prince Era Epic-Length right now. I started with ‘Epic-Length’ fics which are 100k words or more; so it might be that your favorite fics are 90k or below and fall on the ‘Novels’ list that I will be tackling once I finish the epics. I am not even halfway through the epics though, which is very exciting!~ I’m glad there is so much to read in this fantastic genre. Thank you for your kind comments.

  2. I think Chrome mobile swallowed NY rather effusive first attempt at a comment so here’s a more concise version: loving the blog, it is something I’ve wanted to find and didn’t have the patience to do myself. You also seem to be looking for the same qualities in a fic as I do. I hope your to-review list includes some of my all time favourites by Aurette, Caeria et al. Regardless, I am looking forward to having even more to add to that list now!

  3. (I’m just going to claim a late night as the excuse for my deplorable spelling in the previous comment.)

    I do believe a lot of them aren’t there on harmony_bites’ lists. For instance, The Problem With Purity by Phoenix.Writing is 600k+ and AU post-OotP but I don’t see it. Some of them are post-HBP and post-DH (especially quite a few Aurette) so I suppose you will get around to them, but, again, I don’t see those on her list. And what real HG/SS epics list would omit Pet Project by Caeria (300k+), except an outdated one as she took 8 years to finish it? Maybe she used criteria that exclude these?

    • This is so exciting! I’m going to do the list first just because I’ve been doing it so long and I’m halfway; but I love to think that there are still tons of epics out there. I’ve been dreading the end of the list! I know that harmony_bites has stopped updating her stuff, so anything past 2009/2010 or so won’t be on the list (although imo a lot of those are tainted with Snape/Lily fangirls who aren’t legit and write Snape as Gryffindor, but I’m a Snape hipster I guess haha.) Also, she sources FanfictionNet, AdultFanfiction, Restricted Section, Ashwinder, Petulant Poetess, OWL, Fiction Alley, Obscurus Books – so if it is on an archive other than those, she won’t have it on her list. Plus there is margin for error, of course, I’m sure some were missed.

      Thank you so much for your encouragement! My husband just landed a new job (today is his first day actually) and I am going to spend more time at home sewing for my business and listening to fanfiction…hooray for lots of posts coming up, and for plenty of fanfiction left to read! /

      Edit: I just looked Aurette up and all of her stories were FINISHED after 2009, meaning they were unfinished when harmony_bites was compiling her list. Same with ‘Problem with Purity’ – 2009. It’s a Deathly Hallows Year Two category and harmony_bites only made it to Post Deathly Hallows Year One with epics.

    • I finally read Pet Project, after putting it on my ‘Not on Harmony_bites’ Lists’ list (god I’m such a Ravenclaw) thanks to your mention. Yes, your guess was correct; although Pet Project was started in 2005, it wasn’t finished until 2013, and harmony_bites’ lists only are current to late 2008. In late 2008, Pet Project was nowhere near finished. harmony_bites’ list is very outdated, but I’m going in chronological order, so it isn’t outdated YET for me, if that makes sense.

      In a year or so I will be finished with her lists and will need to wade blindly into the uncharted waters. I hope there is still lots of new SSHG content being churned out! The number of people who have suggested Loten’s work to me seems to indicate that there is at least some quality new stories. I suppose I will find out. Thanks again for the heads up on Pet Project.

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