She Married Her Choice – by averygoodun

Link: http://www.thepetulantpoetess.com/viewstory.php?sid=1589
Alt link: http://ashwinder.sycophanthex.com/viewstory.php?sid=12777
Other: There is also a prequel, Marry a Choice, which I link in ‘the bottom line’ section.

Rating: Acceptable

The Basics: Half-Blood Prince Era, Teen Drama/Romance, 150k

Warnings: Dumb People, NC-17, Violence, Non-Con (not SSHG). Also, I did not finish the story so there could be more.

After the defeat of Voldemort, seventh year Hermione Granger chooses to marry Severus Snape before the Marriage Law is passed in order to prevent worse Death Eaters from drawing up contracts with her against her will. The wedding is over, and the couple returns to Hogwarts. Hermione’s seventh year is going to be difficult.

It’s been quite a long time since I put down a fic this early, especially a fic of this seeming quality. The first thing I should mention is that I only read about 4 chapters before I was so frustrated that I had to stop. So, some of you who do not share my pet peeves might really enjoy this fic, and you might also find a lot of things in the middle and later chapters that I did not that redeems it. I’d be interested in those insights, but I just can’t read this anymore, so I will review what I managed to choke down.

Let’s start with the problem, since I’m sure you are wondering. The problem is that Snape and Hermione both act like complete idiots. They both act in the moment with their emotions like teenagers (which, granted, Hermione is, but she’s shown throughout the entire series to be level-headed and cautious.) They both jump to nonsensical conclusions about each other over and over again – I call it ‘tragic misunderstandings’ and it is my biggest pet peeve both in life and in fanfics. I’m too old and grumpy to read a fic that has 3 of them in the first 4 chapters. Snape thinks Hermione is ‘spreading rumors about him’ because the school is rampant with rumors day the after their wedding. Utterly asinine. Then, Snape publicly shames her by giving her a detention and when she refuses to go, he attempts to physically drag her there. Sorry, but that’s not a character I’m interested in reading about AT ALL. He bears no resemblance to my beloved Potions Professor.

Hermione is slightly more in character – after all, she immediately sets Snape on fire when he manhandles her, which is exactly what any mature Gryffindor worth their colors would have done – but she also suffers from plot-contrived stupidity when the author requires it. It’s as if the author pulls everything, included the characters, out of shape in order to accommodate her ideas for fun scenes or moments, even if it does not make sense for the characters. For example, Hermione says incredibly blunt/rude things about Snape while he is in the other room and he’s angry the next day and she can’t figure out why. HMM I WONDER. Real, intelligent people are automatically anxious about being overheard and do damage control right at that moment. Hermione doesn’t think about it. She doesn’t think about anything other than her own selfish impulses at the moment. This is not how you create conflict or write intelligent chcaracters. Hermione is a bit Mary Sue, too, which is surprising in a Half-Blood Prince era fic when it was looked down on as a cliche, as it is today. Lucius Malfoy, my beloved glittering arctic fox, apparently wants Hermione for a bride. This isn’t the worst Mary Sue I’ve ever read, but it’s there.

From what I’ve written so far, you might expect that this is a terrible fic, but it really has a lot of redeeming qualities. There are a lot of fun ideas – using storm clouds and sunlight in the Great Hall for humorous effect, giving Snape chicken pox, Snape subtly coaxing and then viciously eviscerating a couple of boys hassling Hermione, Ginny smuggling Hermione chocolate mousse to comfort her after a bad day, Hermione setting Snape on fire when he pushes her too far. All of these are fun ideas, and most of these scenes are written well. It’s just the terrible, terrible, ham-fisted emotional conflict between two characters that /know better/ that ruined the fic for me. I feel like there is definitely a good fic IN the author somewhere, but this isn’t it, because her characterization preferences are not at all suited to a serious fic about Hermione and Snape. Her strengths lie in friendship, comedy, and the dynamics of a group. Maybe even a pair of emotional lovers, like Ginny/Harry or even Draco/Harry. But serious, calm, slow-to-action, always trying to outfox each other, curled-up-with-a-book Snape and Hermione? No.

The bottom line: The romantic tension is non-existent because they are married when the fic begins. Lackluster characterizations, tragic misunderstandings, and impulsive and asinine emotional conflict ruin an otherwise funny and well-written fic. Read if you don’t mind ‘teen romance’ type conflict. Note that I only read the prequel (60k, http://www.thepetulantpoetess.com/viewstory.php?sid=861 )and the first 4 chapters of this.

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Night School / Day Job – by Melisande88

Link https://sshgreview.files.wordpress.com/2017/06/melisande88-night-school-and-day-job.pdf
Both the prequel and story proper are in one file. I am hosting my own copy because these fics went down with the Digital Quill site. I will link to an external site when it is hosted properly again.

Rating: Exceeds Expectations Minus

The Basics: Phoenix Era, Action/Intrigue, 120k

Warnings: Sexual Content, Violence, Non-Con (not SSHG), Torture, Sexual Torture

Hermione Granger, distraught after the brutal events that led to the fall of Voldemort, becomes a Dark Auror in order to infiltrate the remaining Death Eaters, spying for Dumbledore. Her Dark Auror trainer is none other than the Order’s most accomplished Dark Auror and former spy, Severus Snape.

This is one of those times that I feel my rating system fails a bit. There is a prequel and a main story here; I did not like the prequel at all, but the main story is pretty good. How do I factor that in? I had this same problem with The Fire and the Rose and my ‘solution’ was to give each book a separate rating, but I’m not sure that really made sense. So, this time, I’ll go with the higher rating, and just ask you to keep in mind that the prequel is nowhere near as good. (They should be read together because they are essentially one story.) Also, note that this was written in the Phoenix Era, 2005. I am posting this fic out of chronological order because I somehow missed it during my Phoenix Era postings.

Night School is a short prequel about Hermione’s Dark Auror training. I really disliked this prequel; Hermione and Severus both seemed grossly out of character. They spend most of this training playing psychosexual games and immediately jumping in to bed, which always causes my eyes to roll out of my head. I just can’t see Snape and Hermione doing that, no matter how old or how war-weary.

Day Job, the story proper, is much better. I felt as though Night School was perhaps meant as a one-off porn-without-plot short story, and then when the author decided to expand the story in to Day Job, she went back and adding a bit of exposition. This would help to explain the disparity in quality between the prequel and the main story.

Hermione’s out of character issues vanish when Day Job starts. She dedicates her entire being to her mission of infiltrating the Death Eaters. This is the Hermione I know! Focused and fabulous. The Dark Auror action plot is the best part of the story. I was very excited to find out what she would do next or what fresh danger awaited her in the (nearly literal) serpent’s den of Death Eaters. This is a ruthless version of Hermione who will seduce whoever she has to, work wherever she has to, dump all of her ‘weak’ memories in to a Pensieve; whatever it takes. She learns what works and what does not work as her Dark Auror journey unfolds. I was both scared and excited by her boldness, as was she; this is excellently written intrigue. Lucius Malfoy (after one off-putting sexual torture introduction scene that didn’t seem to mesh with the way he was later presented) is skillfully written, as is Draco. Everyone has their own motivations and secret plans; I loved watching the social mind games required for Hermione to ‘keep up’ with these Slytherin schemers.

So, I loved reading about Hermione’s adventures with the Malfoys, but sadly I did not love her time with Snape. The romance, though MUCH better than in the prequel, continued to be disappointing. They fall in love immediately, they consummate immediately, they stay apart for arbitrary reasons, and the author has to invent stupid misunderstandings to keep them apart, etc. One misunderstanding was so stupid that I rage-skimmed a few chapters, wanting to avoid the idiotic farce of my beloved non-idiotic characters. I also felt that Snape was a bit out of character. He spends most of the fic irrationally following Hermione around, spying on her, being jealous, brewing potions to bind her to him (that he later throws away, but still.) I can see that Snape would be a jealous and possessive person, but this was too much.

The bottom line: The Adventures of Hermione the Spy. The Hermione-focused action plot of this fic is page-turning and very enjoyable, but the inconsistent writing and the lackluster romance were difficult for me. This fic was well-loved when it was first written and it’s definitely worth a look unless you are strictly in the mood for romance. Keep in mind that the short prequel is not as good, has a totally different tone, and is moderately out-of-character.

Objects of Desire – by Azrael

Links:
http://ashwinder.sycophanthex.com/viewstory.php?sid=8755
http://themasque.net/wiktt/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=22&chapter=1
[Note on second link: I HATE linking to WIKTT/Masque because their site is so prompty and irritating – it took me like 20 clicks and re-registering to get to the actual story – but it’s the only other place I can find this story, and Ashwinder has been known to go down on occasion.]

Rating: Exceeds Expectations Plus

The Basics: Phoenix Era, Angst/Romance/Action/Horror, 500k

Warnings: Sexual Content, Non-Con, Sexual Torture, Pregnancy, Slash, Violence, NC-17

Disclaimer: I first read this 8+ years ago and I did not do a full re-read. I did about an hour long skim.

Before I started writing in-depth reviews on this blog, I used to mix this story up For Someone Special with as they are both about 500k and both are extremely kinky with slash elements. I remember being puzzled when I did my For Someone Special blog, because I couldn’t find the chapters about Lucius that I remembered. Turns out, they were from this story!

This story is about 3 major story arcs. One is SSHG, one is Harry/Draco, and one is Lucius Malfoy. All 3 storylines regularly intertwine. That is the major reason that I put “For Someone Special” as my top rating and this fic only reaches ‘Exceeds Expectations’ – the focus of the story is not necessarily SSHG. I am almost as interested as reading Draco and Lucius stories as I am Snape and Hermione, so I had zero problem with the multiple main characters, but it might be more difficult for others.

I should warn you, if you didn’t read the warnings, that this is a very violent, very sexual fic. There is regular, drawn out, sexual torture, slash, and non-con, sometimes all 3 at once. I have zero problem with this, and to be honest it’s part of what fascinates me about this fic and makes it compelling for me. The sexual horror in this fic is grotesque and the villain is unbelievably creepy, but I couldn’t look away. I wanted more.

The plot is sprawling and meandering, but every storyline is tied together by the title of this fic – ‘Objects of Desire.’ The force that propels these characters is their desire; sometimes sexual, sometimes romantic, sometimes paternal, sometimes perverted and evil, but it all belongs together. You see intimately into everyone’s world and certainly into everyone’s bedrooms.

One thing I have to strike against this fic is the actual quality of the writing. It is simple, even rough, but despite that, the dialogue feels natural and everyone feels in character. The author has a way with words; they just aren’t fancy words. If you prefer your fanfic to read like high-quality literature (which frankly, I do most of the time) then this fic might not be for you. I was able to overlook it, but others might have more of an issue with it.

I have written many paragraphs, but I don’t feel I’ve even touched the surface of what this fic is about yet. There’s just so much THERE. It’s full of smut, charm, wit, horror, romance, angst, everything. One seen will be soft and sweet, the next scene will make your guts churn and cause you to look away. There is one overarching plotline, but it’s more Lucius than SSHG.

The bottom line: Despite it’s roughness, it is terrifying and beautiful. I recommend it to anyone who can stomach the warnings and doesn’t mind heavy Lucius and Draco storylines. If you are in the mood for pure SSHG, maybe save this for another day, as they are only about 1/3 of this story.